We techies live strange lives. Last week at the Worship Mentor Gathering, part of our discussion centered around the three-stranded cord of beauty, truth and goodness. These three attributes of God are all present to some degree in each of us. The way we give and receive love is manifested in these attributes. The truth person is firmly rooted in the rational; he wants to plumb the depths of truth and figure out how to best communicate that to others. The goodness person is all about taking up the cause of others; she is the activist, the one who wants to drill water wells in Africa and send food to children in China. The beauty person is the artist; he sees God in creation and wants to both experience and create art the reflects the wonder of God.
Executive pastors and accounting people tend to be truth people; musicians and worship leaders tend to be beauty people; outreach pastors and counselors tend to be goodness people. We techies, however, can best be described as bi-polar. On the one hand, there is a serious truth element to what we do—the technical side of our jobs that requires us to delve into signal flow, transmission protocols and IP addresses. But we also have a beauty side; the sound engineer who orchestrates the band into beautiful music, the lighting designer who paints with light, and graphic artist who stirs our senses with pixels. Like I said, we techies live strange lives.
Because of our bi-polar personalities, it's hard to know where we belong. One many levels we can relate to truth people, but at some point, our artistic sensibilities will be offended (like, Who the heck picked that ugly battleship grey color for the new college group room? It's hideous!). On the other hand, we don't always fully fit in with the artists (like, Really? You need 2% more sax in your wedge? Really?). Strange lives indeed.
So what do we do with all this? To be honest, I'm not really sure. I've been wrestling with this for over a week now and I'm finding definite answers elusive. One thing that has become clear to me is that I need to embrace the artist side of my split-personality more. After spending a few days with some very smart, passionate and creative worship leaders, I've realized we're more alike than different. Clearly we need each other, and working together will be better than working alone (or worse, against).
I also want to get more comfortable with who God has created me to be. Instead of wishing I was more of an artist or more of a rational person, I want to enjoy the tension and the balance between the two. Like relaxing in a hammock strung between the two trees of beauty and truth, I want to rest in who I was made to be, and enjoy the shade of both. I also want to figure out how be more effective doing what I am gifted to do.
I'm sure I'll be unpacking this more as I continue to work through these concepts. But for now, that's what I've got.