Advice From An Old Guy: Find a Mentor

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I mentioned this back in Learn your Craft, but I’m thinking of this in broader terms. One thing I lament in most churches is that no one is pouring into the tech guy. Tech guys (and gals) are usually so busy doing the work of the ministry that no one is ever ministering to them. Having someone pour into you is a big deal, and will help you do this job a lot longer.

Mentors can take many forms. Sometimes, you need someone to help you learn a technical skill. In that case, getting together weekly with a pastor from another church isn’t going to help you much. If you need to hone your craft, find someone who is really good at it, and see if they’ll spend some time with you. This would be a Yoda-like figure; someone who teaches you how to use the Force. Or, how to mix.

You may need someone who can encourage you. This might be your Barnabas. That could be almost anyone, but ideally, it’s someone who is on staff at a church. And probably not your church. Sometimes this is another TD. For many years, Van and I have been each other’s encourager. I can’t even count how many times I called him and asked to go to lunch so he could talk me off the ledge. He did the same with me. We still do that for each other.

I’ve had more of a spiritual mentor in the human form of my friend Roy for going on 7 years now. When I first got to know him, I saw something in him that I needed in my life. I asked him if he would spend some time with me, and for some reason he agreed. For several years, we got together every other week for lunch. ProTip; always pay for your mentor’s lunch/coffee/drinks. Sometimes he encouraged me through a tough time. Other times, he challenged me to reshape my vision. Still other times, he affirmed what I was doing. One of the few things I miss about leaving California is getting together with Van and Roy.

Don’t Be Afraid
A lot of guys are afraid to ask others for help. I don’t know why. Well, I do. But get over it. Find someone you can talk to. I would strongly suggest your mentor be a good 10 years older than you; or at least have 10 years more experience than you. Getting together with peers is great, and I strongly suggest it. However, you need to spend time with someone who knows more and has done more than you.

Don’t think this has to be a lifetime deal, either. Sometimes, people put too much pressure on a mentoring relationship. They think it has to be a weekly face-to-face meeting for life. That’s great if you can do it—and I’ve had the privilege of doing weekly breakfasts with a couple of older guys in the past. I think we met weekly for about 3-4 years. That was a tremendous time of learning and growth for me. But when it came to for all of us to move on, we did and remain friends.

Advice For an Old Guy
I’m going to change it up here and suggest that if you are an old guy, you start looking around for someone to mentor. The best mentor relationships are often developed when the older selects the younger. If you can find someone younger than you to pour into, you both win.

I remember talking with one of my bosses years ago and we were discussing how great it would be if everyone in the Church had someone 10 years older pouring into them and 10 years younger to pour into. As I’ve said over and over, this production business is a craft. It’s best passed on from the master to the apprentice. If you’re a master, you need to find an apprentice. Don’t simply sit around and complain that those young whipper-snappers don’t know anything. Find a whipper-snapper and teach them something.

View all the posts in this series.